Too Broke To Laugh

What did those girls see? Thoughts please.

I’m guessing a match pair of pocket watches engraved with the initials of their Coach.

Meet Kylee, a Western Michigan junior and proud Bronco cheerleader. When Kylee’s not watching her dad scare off her dates with a shot gun, she’s hula hooping on table tops, swearing uncontrollably.
2008 Time Inc.

Her Dad is a smart man for wielding a weapon. Let’s clarify her S.I. profile:

- Kylee is the crazy cheerleader the whole Western Michigan Bronco football team has dated.

- Kylee dances on tabletops, bars, stages, counters, boats, and helicopters (hoola hoop my ass).

- Kylee likes to show enthusiasm to her dates by screaming obscenities at just the right time.

Give me a ‘F’
Give me an ‘I’
Give me an ‘S’
Give me a ‘T’
Give me an ‘I’
Give me an ‘N’
Give me a ‘G’

What does that spell? Hell, I’ll just show you.

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Sondra Fortunato went to Giants Stadium last week wearing a Santa Claus outfit, a tiara, fishnet stockings, a bathing suit bottom and high-heeled boots.

She also had a suitcase and two 11-by-17 signs reading “Go Giants” and “Have a No Guns Christmas,” referring to the team’s wide receiver shooting himself in the leg.

She insists nothing naughty was showing even though she’s “well-endowed.” As the middle-aged woman puts it, “You couldn’t even see my underwear.”

The Giants apparently saw it another way.

Security escorted her out, saying signs and baggage weren’t allowed and telling her to cover up because there were children present. She figures other women “got jealous and complained.”
Fox News 2008

The Giants win a Super Bowl and all of a sudden management sits in judgement of their fans. The star player of the Giants, Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the leg while his friend, another Giants football player, Antonio Pierce attempts a cover up, but Pierce keeps playing and Burress is a millionaire. Super cougar Sondra Fortunato arrives at Giants stadium dressed festively and is turned away for not being ‘family friendly‘. Is this professional football, or the Kentucky Derby?

Osi Umenyiora is alleged to have paid a ‘model’ a few grand, so he could drop a duce on her chest, but he can walk right through the door at Giants stadium. Selita Ebanks, Osi’s new girlfriend could surely dispel this rumor, but her silence speaks volumes towards her being cool with the scat. I’m not sure if Osi is a turd farmer dropping his crops on fertile model soil, but where there’s smoke, there’s usually some dude lighting a match in the bathroom.

I’m guessing if young Sondra showed up at Giants stadium she would be welcomed with open arms, but not anymore and this stinks worse than Osi’s last date. Damn you Giants, damn you to hell!

The two teens were suspended from the squad — one for 30 days and one for the entire year — after school officials learned of the photos in August, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported.

The families suing Northshore School District weren’t identified because the girls are minors.

One of the pictures was taken three years ago and sent to the teen’s then-boyfriend. The other was snapped in June. The lawsuits allege that the girls believed they had deleted the photos, but accidentally sent them to members of the football team.

Fox News – Thursday, December 04, 2008

When will parents learn you don’t give picture taking cell phones to cheerleaders! If you daughter is in the science club, or the law club, or the math club then go ahead and give them a camera phone because they might just take a cute picture of a puppy. Give your cheerleading, good times, wanting to fit in, impress all the boys daughter a camera cell phone and you get explicit photos of their jail bait splashing all over school.

Apparently it was a mistake though and the girls meant to delete the photos, but instead sent them to the entire football team. An honest mistake. One minute you have your legs over your shoulders just having fun with the girls and the next your finger slips on the keypad and you send spanking material to the whole team. Another note to parents, if you daughter has the entire football team on speed dial you might want to lock her in the attic and check her room for other paraphernalia. Ahem!

On the other hand the Bothell High Cougars Football team did go 6-2, so maybe it was the girls teen spirit which motivated them for each game. I know I would be motivated more by promiscuous photos of the cheerleading squad than some old geezer with a clipboard screaming in my face, so who am I to judge. I think we’ve all learned a lesson here and that lesson is you can take a female Cougar out of the wild, but you can never take the wild out of the female Cougar.