Too Broke To Laugh

Britney Spears sure looks sexy on her new album cover, so it begs the question what is sexy? In my opinion it is the allure of innocence with the promise of kinky, anything goes sex. Britney captivated men everywhere with the naive schoolgirl look begging to be ‘educated’ by you as she tied her shirt up and exposed her navel. Britney lost this innocence when she had a mental breakdown and turned into  Sigourney Weaver’s Lt. Ellen Ripley, but on heavy drugs.

As Britney resumes her role as a temptress to all men and women alike, most of us will not forget the erratic behavior of the past, but does this add to her sex appeal or lessen it? I would argue the span of time when Britney went off the deep end and turned psychotic, bashing cars with umbrella’s and flashing her hoonani all over the place resulted in men thinking she is attainable. I would argue further that not only is Britney attainable, but after you coax the naive wide-eyed girl back to your room she would be up for some Gonzo, A2M and reverse Strawberry Shortcake action.

This is the perfect storm of sexiness where innocence collides with naughty and Britney is poised to capitalize on this with her new album ‘Circus’. Then again no one really knows if Britney will appear as the demented clown, or the smoking hot, freakishly flexible chick?

From this point forward you will notice what I have noticed for years and things will never be the same. Fat chicks love purple. This is fact and next time you head out into public you will find no truer words have ever been spoken.

I’ve theorized on this from purple is the only color readily available enough to actually allow giant clothing to be made, or fat chicks think purple makes them look thin and finally they appeal to a little known Grimace fetish of certain men.

Look, I don’t know why this is, but its undeniable that large women love the color purple and it crosses all known demographics, race, ethnicity and sexual orientation. I am asking all of you to post a comment detailing when and where you first discovered this little known truth about fat chicks and purple. Be careful, be smart and be safe, large women are dangerous and can crush you with little effort.