Mon 24 Nov 2008
Hillbilly Police Blotter November 2008
Posted by obliv1on under current affairs , humor[3] Comments
Fred L. Ervin, 30, was beaten mercilessly upside his head with a frozen turkey while trying to carjack a 53 year old woman as she left a grocery store this past Sunday. Police aren’t certain who the turkey wielding good samaritan is, because the person didn’t stop to receive his/her due praise. After being beaten about on his cranium, Fred Ervin drove off and promptly crashed into a bunch of cars before he was arrested by police.
Ervin did inflict some damage on the woman he carjacked, but she is out of recovering out of the hospital. Ervin was in need of the car after robbing a gas station across the street, so he is facing a variety of charges. The only thing cooler than being saved by a frozen turkey around Thanksgiving would be if it was the 4th of July and a passerby jammed an M-80 in Ervin’s mouth.
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November 26th, 2008 at 2:56 am
HAHAHA!!! That happened here in North Carolina. I was just laughing about it this morning when I read about it in the News and Observer.
November 26th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Thanks for the comment TR. I wish you were there to capture that shit on video, would have been hilarious!
November 27th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Its been on the local news but unfortunately Garner is about 20 min away. Anyway, a little update(?), I guess just a little physics correlation to muse about : a frozen turkey swung in a grocery bag is comparable to a bowling ball. A heavy bowling ball… probably more than 16 pounds. So this dude took a heavy, swung bowling ball to the fucking head and still managed to steal a car and speed away. He suffered a massive concussion and proceeded to sideswipe and/or crash into no less than five other cars before the Unconscious Fairy kicked him in the brain. Happy Thanksgiving indeed!