Too Broke To Laugh

The weekend has descended upon us, so it’s time to get freaky.

Does my butt look big?

I do too Sir-Mix-A-Lot, I do too.

Everyone takes and takes except when it comes to responsibility.
Obliv1on – November 21st, 2008

No bailout for the automotive giants. This is what I want to hear from Congress when a decision is finally made on whether to give them more cash, or allow them to go bankrupt. I am sick and tired of these assholes reaching out a hand for help during the bad times and when things are great giving me a huge banana on my car trade-in.

Chances are if you aren’t happy in life, or where you hoped to be it is because you did something to cause it, so take responsibility and man up. Let’s look at a list I’ve composed of people who refuse to suck it up and take responsibility for their actions.

• Chrysler, Ford, GM – When times were good Ford gave me 50 bucks on my trade back in 2000. 
• Lehman Brothers – Cried like bitches ‘Where’s our bailout?’
• Orenthal James Simpson – The Juice, my man, number 32. Guilty as shit, no confession.
• Foreclosed Homeowner – Don’t buy shit you can’t afford dumbass. Now vacate the premise.
• Islamic American Citizen – Start a march, a parade, something! Your silence speaks volumes.
• Walmart – Killing American business to reduce costs and in return we get Melamine Cupcakes.
• Fat People – You are fat because you are fucking lazy and eat to much. Quit blaming thyroids.
• Daycare Children – Your a mental case bully asshole because your parents don’t care enough.
• Ghetto Dwellers – Feel like ‘Good Times’ is your life story. Well watch the fucking ‘Jeffersons’!
• Alcoholics – If you have a disease, then I have JerkOfftitis of the Hands and can’t work.
• Safe Havens For Children – To many kids? Not your problem now. Elderly parents you’re next!
• Republicans – You aren’t in office now because no one wants to hear your fear of God speech.
• PETA – Want to be responsible for animal welfare? Stop choosing animals over people. Nutbags!
• Illegal Immigrants – Want to be liked? Start speaking English and stop with the Latin Flags.