Too Broke To Laugh

Lady LAKE, Fla. — It’s 11 p.m. at the Bourbon Street Bar, and Roselyn’s gyrating her hips to the blues band, Sue’s sipping a cocktail and flirting with her new boyfriend, and Alan is scanning the crowd for cute girls.

“See those two?” a buxom blonde asks, pointing to an elegant couple at the bar. “They were caught having sex in their golf cart a few weeks ago. It happens a lot!”

Welcome to ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.

It’s a Thursday night at one of a half-dozen hot spots at the 20,000-acre Central Florida complex called The Villages, the largest gated retirement community in America — and one of the most popular destinations for New Yorkers in their golden years — where the female-to-male ratio runs 10 to 1.

It’s a widower’s paradise, and the word on the street is that there’s a big black market for Viagra.

Source: NY Post
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10 to 1 odds of getting some ‘Silver Fox’ booty. I’m not waiting until I retire to get in on that action. I figure if I get down there now, I can canvas those ‘GILF‘ bars and score big time. I don’t have much over guys my age, but men 60+ I can totally kick ass over.

I have all my own teeth
I don’t need Viagra, unless the ‘Silver Fox’ is more like a ‘Silver Manatee‘ and then all bets are off
I have all my hair
My balls aren’t gravity ravaged.
I don’t crap my pants (with regularity at least)
I’m not on heart medication so I’m all clear to be a sexual dynamo.

When I get to ‘The Villages’ I am going to unleash a tidal wave of Master Swordsman activity that will leave the ‘Silver Fox’ community devastated for years to come. In fact the towns ladies at ‘The Villages’ will worship me and my mighty penis.

If anyone knows Rosalyn from the Bourbon Street Bar tell her I’m gunning straight for her pulsating punani, so she better fill up on the early bird special cause it’s going to be a long night.